6. Coming Home: The Inside-Out Understanding

In this episode we explore Coming Home: the InsideOut understanding  

Today we go a little deeper into what is at the foundation of our work and life.  

What if we've been trying to fix ourselves and the truth is we were never broken? What if we are already okay at the core of our being? 

In this conversation we share the understanding that changed everything for us – and how it felt like we were coming home to our true nature. For a woman this is the most reassuring, liberating and empowering of experiences. 

About this podcast

We believe the voice of the older woman is medicine for the world.

Elizabeth Lovius and Liz Scott are two women post-55 with a combined century of living, loving and learning. Although opposites in personality, pace and lifestyle, we share a deep passion for inside-out transformation. Our individual career journeys have led us to inspire, coach and teach people to reconnect to their own inner wisdom in business and community settings.

In The Wild, Wise Feminine, we share our unfiltered conversations about what it really means to come into your own, be seen and hold the line for love.

Whether you're navigating the territory beyond menopause yourself, or simply curious about the wild wisdom that emerges when women start trusting what they know - we'd love you to pull up a chair.

If you want to get in touch - contact us at:  lizscottcoaching@me.com

For more about and how to work with Elizabeth Lovius www.elizabethlovius.com 

For more about and how to work with Liz Scott www.lizscott.co.uk

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES TO GO DEEPER

Liz Scott on Insight Timer

The Three Principles - an introduction https://insig.ht/SosJC2Iqp2b

Step Into Happiness By Seeing Through The Myths https://insig.ht/8dG7iwLqp2b

Elizabeth Lovius on Soundcloud - Wisdom and Wellbeing Playlist 

Three Universal Principles of Wellbeing (with Ian Watson) - the history

The Principles of Innate Wellbeing 

Transcript

Liz Scott 0:01

Hello and welcome to the Wild, Wise Feminine.

Elizabeth Lovius 0:09

We believe the voice of the feminine elder is medicine for the world. We are Elizabeth Lovius and Liz Scott. Two women with a combined century of living, loving, and learning.

Liz Scott 0:26

In the Wild Wise Feminine, we share our unfiltered conversations about what it really means to come into your own, be seen, and hold the line for love.

Elizabeth Lovius 0:39

We'd love you to pull up a chair. In this episode, we explore coming home.

Liz Scott 0:56

Today we go a little deeper into what is at the foundation of our work and life. What if we've been trying to fix ourselves? And the truth is that we were never broken. What if we were already okay at the core of our being?

Elizabeth Lovius 1:17

In this conversation, we share the understanding that changed everything for us. And how it felt like we were coming home to our true nature. For a woman, this is the most reassuring, liberating, and empowering of experiences. Well, it's nice to see you again, Liz. Hello. You Elizabeth, how are you doing? Yeah, not bad today. Enjoying the sunny weather in southern Spain. So that's nice.

Liz Scott 1:52

A little bit overcast here, a bit of an overcast spring right as we speak, but I'm hopeful things will improve.

Elizabeth Lovius 1:58

Well, that's the hope of spring. You gotta, you gotta, that's that's that's always gonna be a better day around the corner. So, Liz, we've both, through our own different and unique journeys, come together and we met um in something that we're both going to call the inside out understanding as a kind of headline. But but what it's really about is so rich and so incredible, and it's really given us so much um depth in our um richness in our own lives, and we were so drawn to it, we both became teachers of it and sharers of it and coaches that used it as our basis. We even you did a couple of conferences on it, we did one together. You know, there's just so much here. But we thought it might be an idea to what do we mean by the inside out understanding? What has it got to do with this wisdom that we've been talking about all this time? And, you know, what's fresh and alive today in this conversation that might be helpful for other people to know? And what does it mean? What does it mean to you, Liz? What does the inside out understanding mean to you? Big question, but go for it.

Liz Scott 3:06

Yeah, it's a big question. And I I often, when my heart, my heart often sinks when someone says, What is the inside out understanding? It's also um known as the three principles. And that's certainly when I came across the inside out understanding was the vehicle I came across the three principles. And then the question is, what are the three principles? Um, and again, that makes my heart sink because it it reminds me a little bit of if I don't know if you've ever seen a rainbow. Like if you go up onto the moorland here, and it's it's it's a mixture of the dark skies and and and the rain and the sun, and it's the mixture of those two that creates a rainbow, and it's a spectacular sight. And so for me, it's a bit like kind of stopping in my tracks on a walk, seeing a rainbow stretch across the sky and feeling my heart lift with joy. And then somebody beside me giving me a scientific explanation of what that rainbow is, saying, Oh, it's refracted light and it's this and it's that, and it's it's like, no, that's not what it is. Not that's and it's that similar feeling I get when I talk about the inside-out understanding because it's it's so not an intellectual understanding, it lands in a different space in me, a bit like me seeing a rainbow. So I guess for me, if I were to put it as simply as possible, bearing in mind that I've always been curious about self-development, and I've done a variety of courses, like neurolinguistic programming. I trained in that, I've done the landmark forum, um, I've trained in mediation and meditation, um, hypnosis, I've done lots of different things, counseling, coaching. And all of them have been wonderful stops along my journey. And then when I came across the inside out understanding or the three principles, something landed very differently. In the same way when I saw the rainbow, something lands in my heart. This landed in my heart. And I couldn't completely explain why. But it felt like, oh, I'm coming home. I'm coming home. This feels there's something here which I can't put into language, but I know is absolutely right. So I'm gonna give you my really simple understanding of what we're talking about, um, which has come to me over years and years and years of reflection. And it's really just two things that I see as absolutely and utterly true. First of all, we are all made of the energy of life, universal energy, creative, loving energy, you me, everyone and everything. We all come from the same source. Without exception. And then the second thing is in our human form we have the gift of thought and thinking, and it is that gift that has us feel separate, sad, and lost in stories. And as far as I'm aware on my journey, it's about being fully human and also never forgetting that I'm also always connected to source. Both are true at the same time. So that for me is probably the simplest way of me explaining it now, and I'll just summarize it again. Another way of putting it is we are all deeply okay at our core in essence. And we're human and we forget that. And that is okay too. Beautiful. That's my my take on it.

Elizabeth Lovius 7:19

I love it. I love how you've you've done it. I especially love it because in my work I teach three keys. The I call them, I call the difference between what I teach and the three principles. The three principles is the dress pattern, and that's the kind of deep underlying work that's underneath my work. But my clients aren't so interested in the dress pattern, they like the dress. So I talk about the dress, and some of them are like, tell me about the pattern behind the dress. But this is quite simply, it matches so directly onto what you said. I just have to share it. So, key two is you're already okay, you're not broken, and even better news, the good day you that's the real you. It's not a lucky accident. You know that you that you're just when you're in flow, you've got nothing about you or how you're doing on your mind. You're just being in the moment, letting life live you. And and that feels good. And that you notice you get your best ideas, you can handle anything. That person normally annoys you, you think they're amusing. You know, you get stuff done or not, you enjoy the moment, you know, you you're kind of in the best version of yourself. Now, that's the natural you, that's the real you, and that's the life living itself through you version. So I call that good day you. And what's powering that is powering everything. Is is you know, the trees, the birds, everything has this uh energy in it. It's made of vibrates at a even rocks, they vibrate at a certain uh hertz. And so everything is energy, and so we are part of the same intelligent, creative, loving energy as is everything else. So that's absolute maps on to that. And then uh sometimes we have bad days where we kind of feel insurvival, insecure, not at home. So the first one's at home, uh and the second one's away from home. So we're kind of happy with when we feel at home. We don't overthink that. But when we're away from home, we do overthink it. And that is its own very own thing that takes us away from home even more is overthinking our temporary feelings of not feeling at home. So the second, the third key is all about what gets in, what seems to get in the way of our essential okayness. And that we are the creator, we have this gift called thought. We can imagine anything. And sometimes we use that imagination against ourselves to imagine and and create ideas of ourselves are based on probably something we learned when we were very little. So, you know, this is thought coming and going. And then I've added the first key, which is what we've already talked about, which is we have wisdom, we can let it lead. And just to join the dots, you know, that middle key that you mentioned, when we're aligned with it, we hear our wisdom. And when we're overthinking it, overwhelming ourselves with too much thinking, it it's like um the noisy brass band of life. It it obscures that signal. We can still have wisdom in any situation. There's no good or bad feelings. But if the if we're adding thinking, it's harder to hear through the noise. So it's exactly the same three keys. And the good news is we're what we're sharing with people, you and I, is that when we are at home, we have everything we need to know what we need, what's mine to do, what's next, stick or switch. You know, that's mostly in life, stick or switch, you know, and and whatever that is, we we have this guide within. And I think that's what we've both um experienced deeply. It touched the rainbow, touched our heart and soul of this understanding to a level where it it only made sense to point other people in this direction. Do you do you have any recollections of of what you first what be what really hit you that first time you heard the rainbow? Like to put it like that.

Liz Scott 11:43

Um I remember I I was very curious about so if if people have heard the the the term the three principles and thinking, what are these three principles? Yeah, we probably need to. Yeah, it's mind, consciousness, and thought. And there's a lot on the internet. Um, Sidney Banks was the man who articulated he had an enlightenment experience and you now articulated them.

Elizabeth Lovius 12:06

Yeah.

Liz Scott 12:07

And I and I I first came across them when somebody just happened to mention them. And I thought, well, I'll just read the book and I will be done and add the three principles to my coaching tools and technique toolbox.

Elizabeth Lovius 12:22

Yeah.

Liz Scott 12:24

And for about a year, it just felt like they kept nudging me. And I kept looking and reading and going, there's something here, but I don't quite get it. I just don't guess it. But it it kind of kept drawing me. And one of my early experiences, just to answer your question, is I went on a little mini retreat about the three principles. And I was in this room, and the person leading the retreat, I don't even know what she said. And I suddenly had this at the time I was I was running a very successful business. We had our work, we were working with leaders, we had our work accredited with something called the Institute for Leadership and Management. We we were on a real role in our business. So in this retreat, this she says something and from a very quiet mind, something rises up in me, which is like this is gonna be the direction of your business. Like it was like just a real certainty very quickly followed by excuse my language, like shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I don't know what this thing is, I just know it's really important. What am I gonna tell my clients? How am I gonna explain it? I don't understand it myself. So it was that real quiet certainty of knowing, followed by a storm of insecure thinking, like, are you sh this is not a good idea. Now just to to take on one one more step, because I think this is a really important thing, it has been for me, is that it was almost like that wave of understanding that this was going to be the next step in my business was a hundred percent true. But for me, it didn't mean I needed to ditch everything the next day. It was like it was like I was growing out of something and into something new. We talked about, do you remember in the shedding skins episode where there's this transition and it felt like it was just letting me know I was moving. I didn't have to do anything about it because what happened is the more I began to feel and understand what the inside out understanding meant for me, it just didn't make sense. Things that I had been using in my training, for example, it was like it no longer meant made sense for me to use those things anymore. And they just quietly, a bit like the autumn leaves, their time was done, they fell away. And I was able to share as and and continue to share and to grow and to deepen my own understanding. So your question, when was it? It was in that training room where I was like, or the treat room, where I was like, oh, something different is gonna be happening in my world. Yeah, that was that was me.

Elizabeth Lovius 15:33

What about you? Oh, I remember it vividly. I was in the bath again, uh, reading the relationship handbook, which I uh was written by a man called George Pransky, who learnt from Sydney Banks. I didn't know any of that then. I'd just been recommended this book by my old mentor, Michael Neal, who who used to send coaching tips every week and stopped sending tips. I'm like, where are my tips? I want my tips. And he just got more philosophical, and he was talking about um things that really rang true but didn't have a tip in them. And so I was like, What's he what's he doing? And so he was talking about this book, The Relationship Handbook. And I read that book like a speed read, like I like I inhaled that book because I felt every word of it was true, and it simply said this when you are in a low mood, you don't see clearly, and when your mood shifts, the same things look different. And I knew that was true. I knew that was true, and I was like, yes, and then the second thing it was like when two people are in a low mood, it never works out. It's like and then it'd be suddenly the sort of the scales fell from my eyes, and I realized it's state of mind that that drives our thinking, and so I was really like, I have to I have to read who who's the source of this. And then I came to Sydney Banks, and I didn't understand Sydney Banks at first. I didn't there was in the George Pransky book, it felt like there were more tips and techniques, or at least it seemed that way to me. When I read Sydney Banks, there was none of that, but something shifted in my being. I felt like a coming home when I listened to Sidney Banks. And what I would say now, quite simply, you've said it already, and I'm just gonna say it again as almost like a summation of what we've been talking about here. I would say we've been taught that we are material in a form, in a body. It's impermanent, we know that, but that this is what we are we are the body, and consciousness comes from the mind, brain, rather, our brains. And what is the the inside out understanding and the three principles fundamentally say we are spiritual beings inhabiting this experience of being human. Both are true, equally true, and so there is if we're spiritual beings, we're all connected in spirit, we're one spirit, we're connected in the one field, the one mind, the one universal mind, and it's powering us, and that has huge implications. And we're in a human form, and the laws of gravity do apply to us, so there are things in the human form that are true, and it's like, how do we hold those both? And that's the paradox. And what I would say about the inside out understanding is that it helps navigate that paradox very powerfully for me, and wisdom is the guide, the wisdom of the body, the wisdom of the mind, the wisdom of the heart, and the wisdom of the soul.

Liz Scott 18:49

Beautiful, beautiful. And I think one of the things that I learned as I was exploring the inside-out understanding is that for a lot of my time and life, I had been trying to get rid of some of these traits in me that I thought were unhelpful, limiting beliefs, um, uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. I was, I I felt like I was forever trying to improve myself. And what I really got when I, and this was this sense of coming home, is that at the level of the core and essence of who I am, I am perfect. And as a human being, I'm designed to be imperfect, so I'm still perfect because I'm doing exactly the job of being human. Perfectly imperfect. Perfectly imperfect. And um just just it's a bit like, and I'll I'll this will be my my final little piece and then uh come back to you. But my husband, he loves, he loves going to the football. Absolutely loves it. And for me, it's such a great metaphor for life, is that when he goes to the football, he loves the jeopardy of it. He loves not knowing who's gonna win, who's gonna lose, he loves getting lost and getting frustrated and annoyed and joyful and all of the emotions. He loves it all. And he absolutely knows it's just a game. He knows that ultimately he is involved in this wonderful theater of sport, but he at his core is okay and unchanged, and that's a great probably for me in my life. I now am like that in my life, is that I engage with all of it, and I know at my core, whatever is happening, I am okay, and I don't need to change all the bits around the edges. It's like that that's just part of me being human, and they're okay too. Just don't I don't beat myself up like I used to. So that's just a little um final little uh story from me. What about you?

Elizabeth Lovius 21:20

Oh no, I just love that. Play the game of life, play full out, play to win. It's no fun if you're not playing to win. If you play Scrabble, I play to win. You know, play, play, and you know, engage fully and then know it's all a game. I think that is the most helpful thing we can ever know. And uh and I think when we are already okay and at home on the inside, we win or lose, we're still okay. And I just think that's the game of life right there. So we're gonna have some extra resources. Both of us teach this. So we're gonna pop some of those in the show notes. If you're curious about the inside out understanding, you want to know. More about Sidney Banks or the three principles. We're gonna uh pop those in the notes so you can go and enjoy taking a deep dive into that.

Liz Scott 22:08

That's great, Elizabeth. It's been wonderful talking to you today about the inside out understanding. Thank you. Thank you. You've been listening to the Wild Wise Feminine Podcast with Liz Scott and Elizabeth Lovius.

Elizabeth Lovius 22:28

And if you want to get in touch, take a look at the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.